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World mental health day I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. It reached its peak when I was about fourteen and could not leave the house without having severe panic attacks; going to school or to the grocery store felt nearly impossible. I tried medication, therapy, and finally hypnotherapy to feel somewhat normal. I’m not entirely sure what helped me find my equilibrium again, but slowly I was able to leave the house more and think less about dying or becoming violently ill and having to go to the hospital every second. I still check my pulse constantly as some kind of nervous reaction and have a massive phobia of vomit that causes me intense anxiety in many social situations, but I know how to manage it so much better now. I still spend quite a few days feeling like my world is ending or I’m not good enough and let those thoughts dictate my reality, but I have to remind myself there’s always a new and better day ahead. Nothing (NOTHING!!!) is more important than my own and your own happiness. I’ve found my own little sanctuary of happiness in weightlifting and exercise and playing oboe again and encourage you to find your own little part of you day that is just for you. You are good enough! You are great and beautiful and worthy and you deserve to drown out the voice in your head that says anything otherwise, and fill that space with warmth. It’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s alright to cry, it’s alright to ask for help. You are worth it and you are loved.

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